"You have a stomachache? Oh then you have worms. Well, you probably have malaria and worms. Probably because you ate Mangos before the second rain of the rainy season..."
For instance, if you have a cold here, it's because you:
- ate pineapple after dark
- took a shower after dark
- ironed or straightened your hair and then opened the refrigerator
- walked barefoot in your house
- drank something cold when you were overheated
Here's some quotes Nicaraguan women have told me:
- Shawn, this meal (of pork ribs) is fat free. I made it last night, let it sit on the counter overnight, and scraped all the fat off the top just now! *side note* Yes, I ate it anyway and miraculously, it didn't make me sick. Hey! They were ribs!
- We don't serve drinks when we have soup at a meal because if you mix a cold drink with hot soup you'll...you'll (searching for word)....(Grandma jumps in with the kicker) You'll die!
- If you want to have children in the future, you shouldn't hold cats. Their fur makes you sterile.
- If you go too quickly from hot to cold (see ironing then open fridge above) it will cause face paralysis. You can, however, go from cold to hot with no problem.
- Walking barefoot in your home causes leg arthritis because of the cold, cold tiles in your 90 degree, unair-conditioned home
- Once I drank water a sister's house and when I was done, she just put the glass back on the shelf. I reminded her it was dirty because I drank out of it. Her response? "No it's not; it was just water."
Here's some other home remedies I've heard:
- Your kid has chicken pox? Bathe him in his own urine. It'll heal him right up!
- Feeling pain after giving birth? Put cotton in your ears. It's the cold air entering your body causing your pain. Not, of course, the fact you just pushed a watermelon out of a lime.
- Anything from a stomachache to an eye itch can be cured with antibiotics. You just buy them from the corner pharmacy with no rx and no dr's appointment